Vanessa's SassSea Blog

Look who decided to post again?

2008-08-01T15:26:00.000-07:00

I have been really bad about updating this blog. I'm going to try to be better. In the meantime, the last few weeks have been really fun. The show has been going great, and I finally got to try the Blue Ribbon Burger (Boca, of course) at Red Robin. That's because George was in town and we went there. It was great having him here for a couple of days, he got to see my new suburban lifestyle and my ability to navigate the mean streets of Novi. Usually he has to drive me around in Chicago, but I think he found it refreshing and maybe a little scary to have me drive him around.

I also joined the JCC (Jewish Community Center) in the area, and have been taking aerobics and yoga classes there. I figured out that the classes for people my age are held early in the morning, and that if you go to the classes that start later in the day, you will generally be with much (much) older ladies. So now I am trying to wake up earlier, although I have no regrets about getting to see women in their mid-to-late seventies doing latin dance moves while complaining that they can't hear anything the instructor is saying, and that the room is freezing.

My parents and my grandmother came to see "Jewsical" a few weekends ago and really enjoyed it. According to my dad, when my parents arrived at the theater, they ran into some people who had just seen the matinee we did earlier in the day. My mom pretended she didn't know anything about the show so that she could get the people to say how much they liked the show and the cast, etc. and then talk about it later. Then, my grandma, who doesn't hear great, proceeded to blow my mom's cover and tell everyone that my mom's daughter was in the show. I think in some ways, this was fate's way of getting my mom back for the time that my brother and I ordered room service at a hotel during a family trip, and then hid when the guy came to deliver it. My mom invited the delivery guy into our room while she got his money, and he walked in so far that he saw my brother and I hiding behind the bed. Rather than say nothing, my mom said, "Oh, I forgot you guys were hiding." This wouldn't have been so embarrassing, had we not been about 13 and 15 years old at the time.

Okay, dinner time. I hope to blog again soon!

Jewsical Opens!

2008-07-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Novi, Michigan! Jewsical the Musical opened this past Wednesday at the Second City Detroit Mainstage, and it's been a blast. We've had really great audiences who have really liked the show. Up until last night's ten o'clock show, those people did not like to laugh. I like to blame things on the audience, don't you? It's always their fault.

ANYHOO, We've been here in Novi since Monday, and let me tell you, it is definitely a suburb- there are Targets, Kmarts, and Red Robins as far as the eye can see. Also, we're near at least two Dairy Queens, which is both fun and dangerous (I like to overdo it on things, but I'm sure you already know that.)

The cast is great, and my roomie/castmate Sara and I are sharing a beautiful apartment. Even though our place is lovely, I think the best part about it is that we is that we have cable, I've been watching a lot of Tori and Dean, My Life on the D-List, and other mind-numbing shows, because I can. I think I'm going to be a lot smarter when I leave Novi.

Sassy,

Vanessa

Last week/It's over!

2008-06-17T16:05:00.000-07:00

I am finally home from the Dawn and I can't believe it! Four months absolutely flew by! It's great being home, I've gotten to spend time with George, clean my room, etc, but since it's only been like 2 days, I'll fill you in on my last week, that's a little more exciting. But you might also find that boring, and if you do, just go ahead and look at the pictures.

Last Sunday I met up with a bunch of friends and my bro at Ben's old workplace for brunch, which was really fun, but unfortunately Ben couldn't go because he was told last minute that he had to work all day on the ship. Lame! Anyways, I got pretty drunk on huge margaritas and my cast did their best to keep me that way for the rest of the afternoon. That night we Molly and I had a cocktail party in our room, and I insisted on getting dressed up and wearing heels in our cabin (I actually was sober by that time.) Monday night Ben and I went out to our final all-you-can-eat sushi-dinner-for-15-dollars, it was pretty great. Tuesday we had a drag party, we were supposed to have a drag show, but apparently some of the higher ups "didn't want to encourage that type of behavior." Yikes. Anyways, in protest a few of us still dressed in drag and went to the crew bar, I've attached photos- I'm the latino guy. It was a blast. Wednesday I spa-ed it up, and that night a bunch of us went into Hamilton to go clubbing again, which was fun despite the fact that I really do hate clubs. Thursday, Ben, Bodie, Matt and I went snorkling at Church Bay. It was amazing! We saw tons of parrot fish (they're these really big rainbow-colored fish with sassy iridescent lips and big teeth), and big blue fish and even a jellyfish- that part was actually more scary than cool. Anyways, it was really awesome. Thursday night we had our last scripted show, which was both really fun and really sad. Then Friday night our cast took the trainers out to a steak dinner aboard the ship to thank them for giving us free classes and stuff. Saturday morning Ben took me out to Jazz Brunch for our final mother (me) daughter (Ben) meal and Saturday night, after our adult show, there was a party for the crew who were leaving the ship.

It was a really fun week and I was sad to see it end. I miss alot of my friends from the ship (Ben!) but I'm also really happy to be able to see my friends at home.

Anyhoo, in three weeks I will be off to Novi, Michigan to perform in "Jewsical the Musical" and will hopefully continue the blog once that gets going. In the meantime, I'll leave you with this: If there's anything I've learned from this ship experience, it's that I'm a huge fag hag and that black guys like to hit on me. Maybe I learned a few other things but I can't think of them right now.

Only one week left!

2008-06-08T07:53:00.001-07:00

We only have one week left on the ship and I can't believe it! It's been an amazing 17 weeks.

Last week was really fun, I explored Hamilton more than I ever have before- it's kind of the downtown of Bermuda. One day I went to the Zoo and Aquarium, which was great. Unfortunately my camera ran out of batteries before I could take a bunch of photos there, but you literally walk next to a lot of the animals, and I'll admit I was really scared a peacock was going to attack me. One night we went into Hamilton as well, and went to a club. I was reminded of how much I hate clubs as soon as we got there, but we ended up having a pretty good time. I did learn that I can't carry a drink without spilling it all over my pants, I need to work on my balance.

The next day I went to Warick Long Bay Beach with my friends Ben, Matt, and Bodie, and that was really fun. It's such a beautiful beach, and it was really nice out, so I got to take advantage of my SPF 30 sweatsuit.

Then last Friday the cast went out to dinner and proceeded to get temporary tattoos that they sell on the ship. I got a big Elvis head on my forearm. That's just kind of my style.

Okay, one week left. Crazy!!!

Ben's Sassy Broadway friends visit!

2008-06-01T11:09:00.000-07:00

This past week was a blast. I was sad to see my family go, but my good friend Ben's friends unexpectedly came on the ship for a vacation, and it was so great hanging out with them! Ben's friend Josh is currently in "Grease" on Broadway! He's in the ensemble, but he's also and understudy for Danny Zucko and for the Teen Angel, and he's also so sassy and great! Josh's best friend Anne is also super sassy, and does all kinds of theatrical stuff in New York and other places as well. She just finished a run of The Fully Monty, and can sing just like Patsy Cline, it's pretty amazing.

Anyhoo, one day the four of us rented scooters and rode all around Bermuda! It was a blast, Ann and I rode on the back of Ben and Josh's scooters which was great because we were both too scared to drive them ourselves. I was actually pretty terrified for the first 20 minutes or so on the scooter, but then I got used to it and it was a blast. We visited Church Bay and Long Bay, which were two of the most beautiful beaches I've probably ever seen- most of the pictures I'm posting are from that. We finally got to see pink sand!

And as if this week wasn't already fun enough, today I got to see my friend Gabi in New York! Gabi was in Bloomers with me in college, and is just a very sassy friend, we had a fantastic time! I posted a picture of us.

Only two weeks left on the ship. CRAZY!!!

Best Family Vacation EVER!

2008-05-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

So this past week my parents and brother came on the ship and visited. We had an amazing time!

The week started off pretty great, last Sunday I got to meet up with my friend Nate in New York, he just moved there and is a part of the awesome comedy duo Team Submarine (their website is www.teamsubmarine.net , do yourself a favor and check it out.)

Then later that day my family came on. I was able to get my parents a really nice room, with a balcony and everything, and the four of us hung out in their room alot during the week, just reading, chatting, napping, and sometimes ordering room service, which I never get sick of. I feel so lucky that my family can spend so much time in one room together relaxing and enjoying each other's company, especially since most of us have a tendency to crack some pretty bad jokes. Anyhoos, my brother actually stayed in my room every night except this one night when we had been out drinking and then went to the 24-hour diner on the ship. I proceeded to eat, feel sick, go to my room and pass out. I guess Jonah tried to get into the room by knocking and then calling me several times, but he ended up spending the night with the 'rents (as TEEN magazine called them when I used to be a subscriber.)

We went out to lots of family dinners and then at night Jonah and I would hang out with all of the fabulous people I've met on the ship, dancers, Second City peeps, youth counselors, etc. Jonah got along great with everyone, I think he's maybe the best socializer I've ever met. You can drop him off in a room of strangers, and he'll leave a couple hours later with tons of new friends.

Anyhoosies, my family loved the shows, both ours and the Jean Ann Ryan dance shows, and were very impressed with the cruise all around. We made fun of the Norwegian "Freestyle Cruising" stuff alot, (like they really try to emphasize how "freestyle" everything is- for example, they say the Monday night "is formal night, so you can dress up... or not!", but just imagine them talking about every single aspect of the ship like that).

Today we got brunch with my cousin Jed, who is so awesome. So it was a great week! And now we only have 3 weeks left, which is totally insane!

Julie and Ariana visit!

2008-05-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

Julie and Ariana came on the ship for a week! This was actually the week before last week, but it took me a whole week after they visited to post about it, since I was still recovering from all of the eating and sleeping we did. Julie and Ariana are both great friends from college, and we were all in Bloomers (all-female sketch comedy and musical parody troupe at the University of Pennsylvania) together. They are fantastic, Ariana is a movie producer/sassy entertainment person, and Julie is a published author! In fact, her first book comes out this month! It's called HOT MESS - pick it up if you have a chance. I don't believe the title is actually in caps, but I wanted to emphasize it.

Anyhoos, we saw a little bit of Bermuda while they were here, it was actually our first week going there. We walked around the streets of Hamilton, and one day we went to the gorgeous Horseshoe Bay. Most of our time, though, was spend eating for free and sleeping in our inside cabin. It was very cozy with the 3 of us in there, I slept on a fold-out bunk bed, and that was great because I was able to avoid a lot of farting going on below me. Also, the food on the ship just got much better, thanks to this new Norwegian 2.0 thing, and boy did we take advantage of it. I can't fit into any of my clothes, but it was worth it.

It was a fantastic week, I can't remember the last time I had so much fun!

Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

2008-04-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

Ben, Kingsley and I try to recreate TLC's classic video. Yes, this gets it's own post

Horsey!

2008-04-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

So last week was our last week out of Miami to the Caribbean. On Tuesday when we were in Samana, a bunch of us went horseback riding to this amazing Waterfall. It was really amazing and scary in that the horseback riding was way more intense than I expected. I haven't ridden horses since being a counselor at Firebird Camp, and even then, I was pretty wussy about it. But in Samana we went along these really rocky paths with these really malnourished horses who really wanted us to leave them alone. There was a 14-year-old leading my horse the whole way, but sometimes he would stand behind the horse to get it to go, and I would get really nervous that I was going to fall off. They don't use the English saddles I used at camp in Samana (apparently), so I was using a Western saddle and just holding onto the big stub on it, which I'm pretty sure is the exact wrong this to do. Anyhoo, I it ended up being a lot of fun. We rode to this waterfall where where you could jump off this rock into the water, and that was really fun. But then there were also all of these kids who were climbing the waterfall and jumping off mid-waterfall, which made me scared for them, because there were definitely tons of shallow areas where there were huge rocks in the water. Anyways, no one died, and after we rode back, we went to this beach where there were these adorable girls who loved taking pictures with my camera and then looking at them on the back of the camera. If only adults were as easy to befriend...

Anyhoosies, now I'm in New York for a few days- amazing! There's a business charter that's on the ship for a few days, and since we don't have any shows during that time, I was able to get off the ship! I'm hanging out right now in my brother's apartment. It's so great.

Sassy!

Vanessa

Samana Omlette

2008-04-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

This past week was a super, I went back to sharing a room with Molly so that's about as sassy as can be. I was a little under the weather, so I didn't do too much beach-going, but Tuesday I did explore Samana with some buddies. I posted some cute pics of that day. The restaurant we ate at was really fun, until I realized that I had ordered (or the waiter thought I ordered), a shrimp omlette. I thought I had ordered a shrimp tortilla, but when it turned out to be an omlette (with nothing in it other than shrimp), I tricked my mind into thinking it was a pleasant surprise. Half-way through eating it I was pretty sure I was going to vomit so I had to give up on it.

Here's a tip: Don't order shrimp omlettes.

Speaking of awful food, another highlight of the week was daring each other to try the desserts in the garden. The garden cafe is the main buffet-eating area, and they always have about 2 good desserts, surrounded by a ton of medicre-awful ones. One night we tried all of them, and decided which ones, in order, were worst, second-worst, and third-worst. I tried to get someone to pay me 5 dollars to finish the dessert that we voted was worst, but there were no takers.

Today begins our last cruise out of Miami, and then we're off to New York. Our cruise will then go from New York to Bermuda, which should be super fun.

Sassy!

Vanessa

The past two weeks!

2008-04-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

The past 2 weeks have been a blast. Last week I got to share a room with Brett Lyons. We were really good roomies, although we didn't get a chance to make our controversial talk show, which we were going to hold in our room every night. Here's a photo of little Brett just waking up. Just kidding, Blogger won't let me post it. Okay, now it will. I just feel lucky that for one glorious day Blogger would let me post photos easily, and I got so many up of George's visit...

Also, last week Chris's parents were visiting, so we got to hang out with them and that was really fun (above is a photo of Chris's mom and I- sassy women dress alike.). Molly's boyfriend and Jesse's girlfriend also visited, so in case you don't know where I'm headed with this- lots of sassy dinners. By the end of the week I didn't even remember what it felt like to be hungry.

Last Sunday, instead of using our Miami day to run errands and check email, we went to South Beach to get brunch for my friend Ben's birthday. It was really fun, and something I would also like to post photos of if only Blogger would let me. Okay, now it will. South Beach is beautiful and the people dress like maniacs. It's like a rap video, circa 1995, is going on all the time. Was that the correct usage of "circa"? I sure hope so, because I really wanted to use that term.

We only have one week left of this itenerary and then we reposition to New York. That should be pretty awesome, we're all looking forward to it.

SASSY!

Vanessa

George's Visit!

2008-03-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

This past week my boyfriend George visited. It was so much fun. We did tons of great stuff, including a visit to Tortola's Virgin Gorda. Virgin Gorda has all of these caves that you climb through to get to the baths, which are these beautiful little beaches. We went with independently of the ship, but the ship has an excursion there that was cancelled because of the weather. The waves were crazy and at one point they drenched all of our stuff. Of course George and the other guys loved the waves, and I think that Brett L has tape of George getting completely taken under by one. Anyhoo, I'll try to post some pictures. It was a fabulous week. I already miss my little Georgie.

George!

2008-03-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

George visits in 3 days, I'm so excited. Sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep because there's so many places I want to take him for dinner and I'm not sure what I'm gonna order. And despite the fact that Brett Lyons and Chris Witaske keep saying that they're going to take up all of his time building forts, I know that we'll have a blast. And what could they even make forts out of? It's not like there's tons of blankets and pillows lying around everywhere. I mean there are quite a few on the ship, but those aren't made for fort-building. Those are made for being quiet and sleeping, which I wish Brett and Chris would do right now.

Anyways, hopefully when Blogger stops being such a jerk about letting me post photos I will be able to post some from George's visit, and from the past few weeks.

Sassy,

Vanessa

2008-03-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

I got to see my parents this past Tuesday in the Dominican Republic. It was insane and so much fun. My cousin Jed was getting married in the DR, and our ship happens to go to Samana every Tuesday. I guess most people visit the resort area of the DR, which is about 7 hours away from Samana, but my cousin is really cool, and just happened to be having his wedding an hour away from Samana. So my parents extended their trip a couple days and met me where we dock, and I got to hang out with them and my aunt and uncle all afternoon last Tuesday. It worked out so well. And of course we got Chinese Food because that’s what Jews eat on Samana day.

Also, if you’re wondering how many times a person can watch the movie “Dan In Real Life,” then I’ll tell you it’s about 1.5 times a week. At least that’s what I’ve been averaging.

Sassy,

Vanessa

2008-03-06T09:41:00.000-08:00

So we're well into our 4th week on the ship and things are going great. Our shows have been a blast, and this week we're doing our first adult-only improv show. I guess we can be more suggestive in this show, and I plan on doing mostly toilet humor. Just kidding... kind of.

Anyhoo, I'm going to try and attach a photo of the cast from our last show, although I'll tell you what, blogger has not made it easy for me to upload photos.

In other news, I learned something about myself. I cannot have peanut butter in my room. I bought peanut butter and jelly when we were in Miami last week, because I thought I could make myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch sometimes. Well, wouldn't you believe I just started snacking on it all the time. I mean, I ate half of the jar in about 3 days. The point of the story is that I had to not only throw it out, but I had to put toothpaste in the jar, because I was afarid I might take it out of the garbage and try and eat it, a la that one episode of Sex and the City. So the moral of the story is I have no self-control.

Love,

Vanessa

Shout outs

2008-02-28T10:35:00.000-08:00

Also, shout out to my roomie and best friend Kitty, who is in Chicago, holding down our apartment with burritos the size of her head.

And of course a big shout out to my boyfriend George, who embarrassingly enough, I don't have any photos of on my camera right now. But if you'd like to see what he looks like, he's all over the media in a red leotard. Check out his show "Bodyslam" at the Annoyance.

And to all my other peeps, miss you!!!

Tortola is sassy

2008-02-28T09:54:00.000-08:00

Sunday I got to hang out with Deanna for the entire time we were in Miami! That was really fun. We went on the internet for free all day- what could be better?

I've been visiting the islands with the Second City crew a lot more lately, and I think it's been decided that Tortola is our favorite. I have lots of photos of Tortola. Last week when we were there, we went to Apple Bay, and this week we went to Cane Island. The thing they have in common, besides being beautiful, is that you have to take cab rides to them in these big open vans (to be fair, you don't have to take open ones, we're just daredevils), and it seems like the transmission is going to go out all the time, especially when you go up and down these enormous hills you have to pass over. It feels a lot like a roller coaster ride, except there's a better chance that you could die. So that's fun.

Tonight we have our scripted shows, so those should be a blast. Tonight is also the chocolate buffet, which I found out last night is not such a blast. I love Norwegian but they need to do some serious work in the dessert department.

Sassy,

Vanessa

It's Sassy!

2008-02-24T10:19:00.000-08:00

Here are some more photos! As you can see, things are quite Sassy. This is Ed and I in Tortola, making our "Sassy" and "Not Sassy" faces.

The past couple weeks...

2008-02-19T16:06:00.002-08:00

Hello! I know I'm a little late in starting this blog, but better late than never, right? This is our second week on teh Norwegian Dawn, and so far things have been great. We had lots of rehearsals last week with Beth and TJ, and the shows went really well. But now they've both left so I'm the ony Jew representing Second City on the ship. I'm really working on Molly and Chris though, and I think that they might convert by the end of four months. Anyways, our cast is great and we were really lucky to have TJ as our director because he is fantastic.

We didn't get to visit the islands too much last week because of our rehearsals, but this week is a different story. Today we went to the island of Samana, which was apparently one of Christopher Columbus's famorite islands. But we all know he was a murderer. Christopher Columbus, more like Christopher Colum-jerk (if you don't like jokes like that please stop reading this blog now.) Samana was nice, but I think Tortola, where we're going tomorrow, is nicer. I'll tell you this much though, a guy cut open a few coconuts for us, and let me just say that coconut milk is no day at the park. I expected it to be like coconut bubble tea without the bubbles but it wasn't.

I'm going to post some pictures from the past couple weeks, and hopefully I'll have some more soon. This photo is from our fist visit to Tortola, where we got to hang out with the cast of the Gem for about 25 minutes. It was real fun.

Sassy,

Vanessa